OH! For the LOVE!!!!

Goodness almighty. Have you ever been so enraged with anger that your body shakes?! That is how I feel. Could have to deal with the lack of sleep and broken air conditioning while being trapped in a room with 32 sweating 10 year olds. Well coming home after a day like that and then being hit with a conversation that on a normal day would push your largest buttons... uh. I need Satan out and I need to calm down, that is for sure.
Ok so lets think about China. As many of you know I was laid off, kinda, for next year. Basically I have no job next year. I can collect unemployment but its a measly $400 a week. My husband has a job, better than minimum wage, but just a job, nothing special. He is not happy there, he is tearing apart his body, and he and I do not want this to be a career, but it's a job. Ok first its just a job! come on you can't stay somewhere and just be content or you are not going to go anywhere with your life, again it's just a job. This is not his life long love of a career. He is not a starving artist following his dream, it's just a job he happened upon. Just a job. Yes again this job pays more than minimum wage and gives him medical benefits, which he does pay a part of but again it is manual labor which he nor I want thim doing his whole life... that just leads to thinsg being pulled, surgeries, bad backs, etc. However, it does give him great muscles (but we have a gym for that) Ok anyway what I am getting at is he has been looking for a "career" or job that will eventually turn into a career. Do we know there is a difference between the two? One is just to get by and doesn't pay much, it is temporary. The other is something you do with your life, what you are, it pays more, and usually requires some kind of education. I have a career. I went to 5 years of college to get 3 degrees. I have a career that pays a salary, benefits, and is something I love to, or use to love to do ( I just need a grade change) McDonalds can be a career, when you are in managment and own the McDonalds :)
Ok so here is the problem I got laid off, which means no more money. Furthermore, that means that jeremy and I just lost 3/4 of our income. His job does not pay enough for us to keep our way of life now, not an apartment, not food, and bills, and gas, and tv, and cell phones, nope. Now I have to get "job" or get another placement in my career. Well...
with the economy the way it is this is not the time to be looking for a position as a teacher I mean around here alone they are closing schools, increasing class sizes, lowering salary, bad time to be a teacher. I could go back to school and get a new degree but I don't want to. Frankly, I am here to be a mom. I am goign to be a mom who has a degree and position to fall back on but I am not here to work my whole life. I think women need to be home with their kids, again they NEED to be home with their kids, kids need that too. A woman's main responsibility is to her family and to be at home, that is how society in the past andnow has viewed this, that is how our religion views this... family first... ok so the problem has been that if I go to China then Jeremy has to quit his job and I feel that we are following my career and putting him on hold. However, I realize this is not the case. We are both relatively young, and we can afford in all areas to "take a year off" It is ok for us to take an amazing life opportunity. We are young, we do not have kids, I just lost my teaching position, Jeremy can afford to leave his job, and China awaits. An experience we will grow so much from, a place where if Jeremy was to find a job there it could lead to a career, it could open many doors, a chance for me to teach in a new place, a chance for us to grow and bond as a couple, a chance for us to have an experience of a life time and even if Jeremy does not work we have enough to get by.
Another thing is that this job will pay my full insurance and half of Jeremy's. Now if we stay here Jeremy will have insurance but I will not so we will have to get me insurance anyway so this actually is cheaper.
We are financially secure right now. We have both our cars paid off, we are in no debt, we have a padded savings account, we can afford to do this.
I was worried about missing my friends wedding, but it turns out she is postponing a year. Things just keep falling into place.
Anyone who has traveled outside of the country knows what a special experience that is. How great it is to learn another culture, how unique it is to live in another place. I lived in Ecuador and I would not trade that experience for anything, I am a better person for it in every way. Imagine how different and wonderful Jeremy and I will be when we come back, how close we will have grown to eachother, the experiences and challenges we will have faced. THis is amazing.
When I told my dad about China he just lit up with a huge smile. He got on the phone with his friend who had been there. He told me to get on that plane and have the time of my life. He was THRILLED. He said to not worry about storage, or breaking lease, or missing weddings. This is your life and it only happens once and you need to go for it.
When I told my mom she too was excited and said what an opprtunity and adventure it will be. She was excited.
When I told my co- workers one got a huge smile and said that just gave me chills I am so excited for you. The other just lit up and was more excited than I was. The third said that this would be the most special experience of my life and that destiny is not just the choices we make but our omissions and you wouldnt want to miss out on something like this
My friends are thrilled and supportive. We are thrilled and terrified. Terrified about so many things but again, when opporunity knocks, you open the door.
We don't know if we are going yet, there are so many things to think about and try and get in order, but how exciting. What an exciting time in our lives.